


love me dead

by undread



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alcohol, Bisexual Kuwata Leon, Explicit Sexual Content, F slur at the very end, F/M, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Misogyny, M/M, Obsessive Behavior, Smoking, author projects so hard he breaks his ankles, come get yalls juice, hand holding, i hate kanon so much lmao, leon has chronic hives, the inherent homoeroticism of being on the same bike as someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 10:47:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27969314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undread/pseuds/undread
Summary: you're a parasitic psycho, filthy creature finger-bangin' my heartyou call me up drunk, does the fun ever start?
Relationships: Kuwata Leon/Maizono Sayaka, Kuwata Leon/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	love me dead

**Author's Note:**

> GOD PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS SONG ITS SO LEONCORE IT HURTS
> 
> this one skipped the notebook. i got through the first paragraph and realized i simply did not want to write it on paper. onto the ao3 it goes

Sayaka scratches at his back as he pounds into her, little red marks that blossom and itch so bad. She's screaming, mewling, and the cheap bed in the motel creaks loudly. Leon is scared that he might break it for a second before realizing they're probably sturdier than he thinks. Sayaka puts her hands on his chest. _Stop,_ it means, and Leon freezes immediately. She tells him to lay on his back and he does, he'd do anything she asked, really.

She starts riding him and he grabs her hips gently. He thinks Sayaka likes it, cause she starts going faster, but he honestly can't tell. She grabs his wrists tight enough to leave marks, and soon they start to itch, too. He kinda wants to stop, so he can take his medication and stop itching and then they can keep fucking, but what a mood killer, right? Leon wasn't gonna deny Sayaka either way. She was happy, and Leon liked when she was happy- her smile always seemed to light up the room she was in, making her upset was like covering up the sun. He didn't want to imagine what it would be like if she cried.

Leon had made Kanon cry, once. When she was ten, she asked Leon if they could get married in the future. Being the normal twelve year old he was, he said no, _no way in hell._ He must have been a bit too rude about it, because she started crying, and when Leon's uncle and father came out, all they saw was that Kanon was crying. _Leon is so mean,_ Kanon had cried, _Why won't he be nice to me like with other girls?_ Leon learned that day that it was wrong to make little girls cry, even if they deserved it. Leon's pretty sure there was a difference between making little girls cry and making teenage girls cry, but he doesn't want to risk it.

Sayaka tears up frequently, Leon is always playing on-edge. Leon's always trying to keep her happy. He doesn't question when she wants something, he just does it, he gets her anything she wants- not like he doesn't have the money to spare. Leon doesn't think to ask for anything in return, he doesn't need anything, he's happy when she is. The only thing he really wants is to hold her hand, but he's a guy, that's such an embarrassing thing to ask for, isn't it? He's doing fine without it, anyway.

He imagines it frequently, though. It wasn't like they hadn't held hands, but it was never as fulfilling as he imagined. Maybe if her hand was bigger, more calloused, gripped tighter, she smacks his cheek and he's dragged back into reality. "Leon?" She asks, and she sounds pissed. "Are you even paying attention? Leon?"

This is probably worse than if she cried. Kanon never got angry, really. He's inexperienced in this. "I- I started spacing out, I'm so sorry," he apologizes, and she furrows her eyebrows and starts to pull off of him. "Wait, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry-"

"It's fine," she says, and she winces as his- definitely soft- member falls out of her. "I can't blame you if you aren't interested." She's doing exactly that, but Leon pushes the angering fact out of his mind, because Sayaka is upset. When Kanon was upset, he gave her a hug and she felt better, so he tries that with Sayaka. She flinches away, though. "Don't- don't hug me right now."

That kinda stung. His first girlfriend, and he already fucked up so bad she didn't even want to hug him. She gets her stuff and leaves to motel, takes her car and drives away. Takes Leon's fucking ride home, more like. He's pretty disappointed in himself but also he's a little pissed that Sayaka didn't drive him home or anything. He should have driven her home, really, cause he's a guy and guys just do that, but he can't really help not having a car. He tries to think of who he can call for a ride. Sure as shit not anyone in his family. He types in Mondo's phone number hesitantly before pressing the call button, praying the biker is still awake.

There's grumbling and movement on the other end. _"Yo."_

Oh thank god he's awake. "Hey, uh, Mondo?" He asks, and hears gruff acknowledgement on the other end. "I need a ride."

_"Ain't you with Maizono?"_

Leon swallows heavily. "She ditched me."

There's a pause. _"The fuck do you mean, she ditched you?"_

"She- she ditched me," Leon repeated. "I made her angry, so she took her car and left. I just need a ride home man, please?"

_"What'd you do?"_

Of fucking course. "Dude, I'll explain later, okay? I don't wanna stay in this shitty motel." Leon scratches his wrists and he tries to scratch his back. The hives are spreading slowly, moving to his shoulders. Mondo sighs, and says he'll be there in ten minutes. Leon uses that time to finally take his medication. Kanon used to take his medication from him- she would hide it, and she would only give it back to him for a kiss. Leon always ended up finding it on his own, and becoming uncomfortably familiar with Kanon's room in the process. He puts on his shirt and tries to not touch his back too much.

Mondo shows up with his flashy bike and his flashy jacket and it's kinda comforting for Leon. Mondo's always been there for him. Mondo's always looked out for him, made sure Sayaka was treating him right. Leon walks out with his backpack slung around one shoulder- the medicine is starting to kick in and the hives are clearing. He and Mondo wordlessly nod to each other and Leon climbs on. He holds onto Mondo tight and he feels a little embarrassed doing so, but he doesn't really know why.

Leon's ready to take off, but Mondo turns to him. "You gonna tell me what happened?" He doesn't really want to, is the thing. It's kinda embarrassing to tell your best friend you got (probably) dumped cause you spaced out during sex. He does tell Mondo though, if only so he can finally just go home. That's all Leon wants, he doesn't want to hold Maizono's hand anymore really, he wants to go home and lay down and cry a little bit, but he'd never admit that. "What were you thinkin' about?"

Leon doesn't remember Mondo asking this many questions. He doesn't really wanna hold Mondo's hand anymore either. Did he ever? "I was thinking about holding her hand, okay? Can we go now?"

The biker huffs, but they start driving nonetheless. Leon can get why Mondo likes his bike so much- the ride calms him down. He's not that mad at Mondo for being curious anymore. He's still a little mad at Sayaka, but it's not really a big deal. He'll text her later, it'll work out. He invites Mondo inside, cause why not, and they go up to Leon's room. It's the first time Mondo's been in there and it feels some kind of special, having Mondo in there. Again, he doesn't really know why. The posters, the sheets, the layout, it's all up for judgement from Mondo and Leon will change it all if Mondo doesn't like it, the same way he'll give Sayaka whatever she wants to make her happy. He wants to make Mondo happy too. He's not supposed to want that, though. Leon is a people pleaser to his core, needing to keep Kanon happy, trying to keep Sayaka happy, wanting to make Mondo happy.

Mondo doesn't say anything about Leon's room. The punk almost wants to ask what he thinks about it, but Mondo has already started talking. "I can smoke in here, right?" Leon nods and Mondo pulls out a pack of cigarettes, lights one. Mondo is the only person Leon knows who smokes. The punk considered picking it up once- it gets rid of stress, he heard, and he was pretty sure he would look cooler. Girls like a bad boy, a smoker, though Kanon would probably chase them off anyway. Kanon would rip the cig from his mouth an stomp on it and say it's bad for him. Kanon isn't here, though.

"Gimme a cig."

The taller looks at Leon confusedly. "Didn't think you smoked."

"I don't," Leon stated, "gimme a cig."

Mondo scoffs, but he does hand one to the punk, along with his lighter. Leon hasn't actually used a lighter before, and he struggles getting it to work. He struggles keeping the cigarette in his mouth, too. So much for looking cool. Mondo sighs and takes both back from him- _you do it like this-_ then hands them back. Leon inhales the smoke sharply and feels like he might faint. He coughs, and the cigarette falls out of his mouth.

"Sorry," he apologizes, trying to put the cigarette back in his mouth. "I'm kinda... wasting your stuff-"

"'s fine," Mondo says, and he looks off before looking back at Leon. "You ever see those like- when a guy blows smoke into the girls mouth."

"Yeah?"

"That don't work," Mondo chuckles, "the smoke ain't gonna stay around long enough to do that."

"Oh." Leon voices, "It always looked cool." He had imagined doing it before, blowing smoke into some empty image of a girl. He didn't smoke, though. Where the smoke came from is unknown, cause Mondo is the only person Leon knows who smokes. Mondo couldn't supply the smoke, unless Leon was kissing Mondo. Unless- stop. "I've never tried it before."

"I did, once or twice."

"With who?"

Mondo shrugs. "I dunno. Random broads, didn't mean nothin'." Despite that, Leon feels bad at the thought. Mondo kissing some girl he didn't even know. The thought of Leon himself kissing Mondo returns and it doesn't want to go away this time, and it goes a little further, Mondo's hands are big and calloused and they grip tight at Leon's hands, then his waist. Leon's phone buzzes and it tears him from his thoughts by his neck. Sayaka. Right. His girlfriend.

_"Leon? Babe?"_

He didn't expect to be called babe, but he'll go with it. "Saya? You okay?" He rushes, "I'm really sorry about earlier, seriously, I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry-"

 _"Leon, it's okay,"_ she says, and again it's unexpected. _"I'm sorry too, okay?"_

"I..." He doesn't really know what to do. "I forgive you."

 _"Good,"_ she breathes, and giggles. _"Look, I'm- I'm a little drunk right now, Lele uhm-"_ she giggles again between her words. _"You don't mind coming over, right?"_

Leon gulps. He's back to making her happy, back to playing on-edge, and Mondo is looking at him like he's angry and Leon is realizing he can't make everyone happy at once. He needs to pick and choose and he can't do that. If Kanon was here she would chase off everyone, she would be the only person Leon needed to keep happy. Leon fucking hates Kanon and he's kinda only just now realizing it. He shouldn't have needed to keep Kanon happy and he shouldn't need to keep Sayaka happy, either. "I'm hanging out with Mondo right now," he answers, and he hopes she gets the message.

_"Is he gonna drive you over?"_

Of course she doesn't get it, why would she, she's drunk, Leon, you dumbass. "I'm not coming over, Sayaka."

There's silence. _"Why not?"_

"I just- don't want to. I wanna hang out with Mondo tonight, alright?"

She sighs. She's pissed off, and Leon should've expected that, but it still stings a little. _"Have fun with him I guess."_ There's a pause, before she speaks again. _"Whatever. Don't wanna be with a faggot anyway."_ It's followed by beeping and Leon actually feels hurt as he sits his phone down. Again, he should've expected this. He pulls his knees up to his chest and he doesn't really care what Mondo thinks right now cause he just got dumped and he's kinda upset about it. Mondo doesn't say anything, though. He just looks at Leon.

"What'd she say?" Mondo asks eventually, his tone just a little hushed. Leon doesn't answer- he just needs a second. He buries his face in his knees. What if it was a mistake? What if he shouldn't have done that? What if Sayaka was his soulmate and he actually should have worked to keep her happy instead of giving up like a coward?

Mondo climbs off the bed and pulls Leon into a hug. It's warm and he grips tight, it's better than holding his hand, and Leon lets his head fall onto Mondo's shoulder. There's a difference between making little girls cry and making teenage boys cry, and he just needs a second.

**Author's Note:**

> leon: i'm gonna keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, i'll die
> 
> i promise i like sayaka it's just really easy to make her a villain i promise i love her i do dont hurt me ple


End file.
